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We could and often did call each other on our cell phones during the daytime, but not at night, for fear our spouses might overhear the hunger for each other in our voices. We would talk about anything and everything on the phone, but mostly about our growing hunger for each other. On those few occasions when we could actually find seats, instead of standing room only on the bus, the whole ride from the suburbs into downtown would be spent seated beside him, my head on his shoulders, wrapped so lovingly and safely in his arms, where I already knew I belonged….and unfortunately where I haven’t been in four years and never will be again. We eventually would call each other Kat (me) and Cyrano (him), pet names we gave each other, for reasons I shall explain later. On our daily commute together, I could often see that being with me caused a beautiful thick ridge all the way up the front of his trousers. EVERY time! Sometimes the head was real close to peeking out above his waist line;. That my wife carried to term a beautiful baby girl that our doctor said would probably —and did—die during or just after childbirth haunted the two of us, and probably hastened our marriage's end. We still send each other Christmas cards, not that it matters.On both sides of the family, I am first-born of the generation, I do have one brother, and a number of cousins. It was the funeral of a cousin's in-law that I had attended, and because that in-law, an older woman, had been very gracious in the aftermath of the car accident that killed my parents, I felt I should be present at her funeral. So I drove the several hundred miles to another small town, this one east of Utica, found myself strangely moved when the funeral service included one hymn, "How Great Thou Art," which had been sung at my parents' funeral, and felt I had done my duty and that my presence was appreciated.Driving back, I picked up Route 104, parts of it known to upstaters as "the Ridge Road", did a decent job of.
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